I wish I wasn't an insecure person. I wish I could make decisions without second guessing myself. Or telling myself constantly that I do not deserve to be loved. I suppose I just wish I could be perfect for you. I hate to see you angry or depressed. I want to be the reason you smile. You are not just my boyfriend. You are so much more to me than that. I don't need a ring or a legal document to say so. You're my love, my whole heart, and my best friend. You are my conscience and my partner. The perfect teammate I could ever find in this world.
The other day, your Father asked me what I love about you. I became silent and found it difficult to answer. It is not that I don't love you, dear God, that's not the case. There are so many moments throughout the day that I thank God for you and am reminded of how much I love you. I thought that this letter would be a good way to explain.
I love your ambition and kindness, your internal beauty and golden heart. I love your excuses to be lazy and how you talk in your sleep. I love your eyes and how they try to analyze me. I love how you're so utterly confused by the world around you. I love when you get excited and run around. I love when you put on your poker face when you drive or are around other men. I love how no matter what situation we're in I can see what's under your surface and know how you'll react. I love how you love me and are next to me every night. I love your smile and how you love mine. I love when we hold hands you stroke my fingers and how at times my love for you is so intense I randomly burst into tears. I love that you protect me and stand by me through the good and the bad. I love that you know every aspect of who I am and yet there is so much more for us to learn about each other. I love how you play your guitar and can word feelings in such ways that I cannot. I love how you watch my chick-flicks and make me food. I love your hair and your neck and your arms and your hands. I love how you're tall enough to kiss my forehead and that I can kiss your chin. I love your scars, for they remind me that we are fighters, and I love your heartbeat.
I love your ambition and kindness, your internal beauty and golden heart. I love your excuses to be lazy and how you talk in your sleep. I love your eyes and how they try to analyze me. I love how you're so utterly confused by the world around you. I love when you get excited and run around. I love when you put on your poker face when you drive or are around other men. I love how no matter what situation we're in I can see what's under your surface and know how you'll react. I love how you love me and are next to me every night. I love your smile and how you love mine. I love when we hold hands you stroke my fingers and how at times my love for you is so intense I randomly burst into tears. I love that you protect me and stand by me through the good and the bad. I love that you know every aspect of who I am and yet there is so much more for us to learn about each other. I love how you play your guitar and can word feelings in such ways that I cannot. I love how you watch my chick-flicks and make me food. I love your hair and your neck and your arms and your hands. I love how you're tall enough to kiss my forehead and that I can kiss your chin. I love your scars, for they remind me that we are fighters, and I love your heartbeat.
You may never read this and if you do, don't feel the need to respond. I know that you love me, even if I don't know why. Knowing that you sleep next to me every night and hold my hand every day is enough. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world and I wish this kind of love upon even my worst enemy.
Everyday is not simple, though. We have seen dark times and there are more to come. I fear that there will be a day that I will lose you, somehow, and I am not sure how I could handle that. I have never been this close or this in love with any other man. I have never regretted my past, treasured my present, or hoped for my future until you. I can only hope that during those stormy times you will simply grab for my hand and we'll jump together.
This is probably the most cliche letter that I've ever wrote and I apologize, but, I am not ashamed of the way I feel. I am shy, yes, but not ashamed. Never ashamed. You are my sun and I cannot help but be in awe of you everyday.
I am not the best girlfriend but I try to be. I have never truly cared about someone more than I care about myself. I have never been willing to sacrifice anything and everything for another person. Well, except for my family. I am not the best cook or worker or maid. I am not always smiling and complimentary. I can been cold and unreasonable. I can be stubborn and narrow minded. But, for some reason, you are willing to love me still. You are beautiful in so many ways and I am so grateful that you are with me. I dream of many things and ask many things of you, and you are always so patient and loving.
Thank you.
